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4 months ago

Diane Muller - Herne Bay Hypnotherapy

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A recent second testimonial from Chris, a nurse who consulted last year, basically for burnout, stress, emotional problems etc. He said: ‘I have been thriving ever since the completion of the Programme. I was very positive about starting the Thrive Programme as I wanted to do something to turn my life around. The Programme made me look at things in a completely different way, and since completing the Programme I have gained the confidence that I lacked all my life. I have since gained a promotion at work, made new friends and a lasting loving relationship. The Thrive programme has given me a lasting sense of empowerment and I would highly recommend it to anyone. I am in the best possible place I could be.’

Any front line NHS worker who is really feeling the stress is welcome to give me a call/Skype free of charge to offload. ... See MoreSee Less

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So pleased you are in a real good place ,Thrive and Diane can do so much to help when you need friendly,constructive guidance,..I know from experience too ,.have never looked back Thank you Thrive

This is a really interesting topic and well worth watching. Rob Kelly is the author of the Thrive Programme which is a powerful evidence based training programme. ... See MoreSee Less

We are experiencing really testing times in this current pandemic of COVID-19. Every news item on TV spends almost 100% of its coverage on this topic. The newspapers’ first six or seven pages also cover the topic.
It’s no wonder that we are becoming weary of all that unwelcome news. One of the obvious worries is ‘Am I going to get this virus?’. Of course, that is a natural thing to worry about, but if you immediately let your mind wander to the worst case scenario, then you will undoubtedly become more stressed. To put matters in perspective, in reality there are over 60,000,000 in the UK and to date just over 200,000 have contracted the virus and less than 30,000 have died, the vast majority with underlying problems.
Unfortunately, it is a particularly testing time for those with poor mental health, the situation becoming a more magnified thought in their minds. It affects many people psychologically and emotionally. There are also other worries, not least financially, ‘am I going to lose my job’, etc.
Naturally stress levels are rising, what with lockdown, people not being able to see their families, worrying about their jobs, it is a tough time without doubt.
While it can feel like everything around is all doom and gloom, although the fears are natural, the high stress levels can be brought about by over-thinking, brooding, almost non-existent coping skills. If you have developed a strong desire for control, the kind where you micro-manage every thought (sometimes referred to as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder OCD), then you will find this time particularly stressful.
If you are powerless, have a kind of learned helplessness, then you will find it more difficult to cope, you will become more stressed because you haven’t learned to manage your thinking in a more constructive and helpful way. Those with strong coping skills having learned to deal with stressful situations. We all have our ‘wallowing’ time, it’s kind of natural, but then you can learn to manage your thinking, and bounce back to normal
When I take clients through the Thrive Programme training, they are amazed at how quickly they can learn to review their unhelpful negative thinking and, over a relatively short period of time, learn to managing their thinking well and become more empowered. This, in turn, helps build self-esteem and eliminate social anxiety. They are able to maintain perspective, view challenging situations in a way that helps them to cope with them. As a natural course of events, the stress levels will reduce significantly.
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I've stopped watching the news, haven't seen a paper in years and try NOT to watch the evening briefing, unless of course there is some good news.

Mental Health Made Simple - Post 15

Over the past few weeks we have shared some elements of The Thrive Programme.

If you are one of the people who has been impatiently awaiting each new post; reading it several times; taking the time to digest the content and apply it to your life, you will already be experiencing better mental health than you were a few weeks ago. Furthermore, you’ll have a clear knowledge and understanding of WHY you are feeling better, and you’ll be excited that you're learning a skillset that you can continue to benefit from over the coming weeks, months and years. You might have had a few ‘aha moments’ or be feeling optimistic for the first time in a while. Some people say they feel liberated once they start thriving.

It may be that you have read some of the #thrivingathome posts and taken interest, but not put them into practice. If this is you – take heart, this is still a start. But, don’t be disappointed or dismissive if nothing has changed for you yet. The Thrive Programme is NOT a magic wand: reading the posts alone is not enough to change things. Thriving is a 'doing thing’ - it requires daily effort. Don’t stop here.

So, what’s next?

Know that you’re in the right place. No matter how long you’ve struggled, The Thrive Programme has helped people just like you to change their lives by improving their mental health.

You can go back and reread the posts as many times as you need to. But, don’t stop there: you need to put things into practice. This does feel strange, we know: but that’s essential to progress. If you need a little help there are some options for you:

If you’d like to do the full Thrive Programme, you can start TODAY. Visit our website to buy a manual, or to get referred to a licensed Thrive Programme Consultant (TC) who can't wait to support you through the whole programme, offering personalised support, accountability and encouragement. Your consultant not only wants to help you overcome any current difficulties, but will also encourage you to use your new skills and self-awareness to COMPLETELY change your life. We love to hear stories of things people go on to do once they’re thriving; the dreams that came true, the new directions their lives take and the fun they’re having.

And, for those of you who are still sceptical that mental health IS something that is predictable, understandable and changeable, know this: Your mental health really matters to us and doubt is not unusual. If you think ‘this couldn’t work for me’ or ‘I can never overcome [depression]’ or ‘I will always suffer from [OCD]’, take a step back and consider where your beliefs about mental health have come from. WE know The Thrive Programme can work for you; but you need to accept this for yourself, otherwise why would you make the necessary efforts to get results?

Society perpetuates both myths and ignorance that might have led you to believe that you are stuck with your mental health and it can’t be changed: you shouldn’t believe everything you are told!

Remember: a belief is just a belief - it’s not something fixed, it’s not something you were born with, it's not an impenetrable fortress - it’s just a belief, and a belief is just a thought you keep thinking…

Let’s look at a MASSIVE belief millions of you held, that you completely changed in minutes… (Remember the balloon metaphor in Post 5? 🎈)

The vast majority of you reading this will probably have held a huge belief in… Santa Claus. OK, it was a long time ago, but those of us who did believe, REALLY did believe. You’d have bet your life on ‘it' being real. And yet one day, someone presents you with the tiniest bit of evidence suggesting the story isn’t true, and you switch, you go straight from ‘completely believing’, to ‘completely disbelieving’, in just a few seconds.

Your older brother, or one of the kids from school told you the story wasn’t true, and that it was your parents who bought the presents, your cat who drank the milk you left out for the reindeer, and your dad who ate the mice pies you left out for Santa. To make matters worse, they probably also pointed out that you lived in a flat, and didn’t have a chimney for Santa to climb down..

The point is, you were able to change a massive belief, in just a few moments. Think what you could do with other beliefs that you currently hold...

We are telling you this because the truth about mental health is sometimes hidden or distorted – to our dismay. Some press and pharmaceutical giants and long-time sufferers of mental health problems even have a vested interest in manipulating your view of mental health, which is why you might be clinging to a belief that YOU are stuck with this, or that these post seem too simple to be effective. But, mental health isn’t complicated: you’ve just not been told this before.

The truth is, anyone can thrive, if they are willing to master the skills and self-awareness. Thriving requires you to build a strong sense of power and control and think positive, powerful thoughts. At The Thrive Programme, our stock-in-trade is helping people build great mental health using these skills: we see lives changed every day and yours could be next. It’s proven. It’s quick. It’s revolutionary.

For those of us who are thriving, we feel passionately that you can experience it too.

So, if you’ve got an urge to change, take action today.

Share your story, get in touch, oh and drop us a message in the comments if you’d like a .pdf booklet of the #thrivingathome posts.

The Thrive Programme Team

PS Sorry if you didn’t know about the Santa thing #ouch😬 ... See MoreSee Less

Mental Health Made Simple - Post 15

Over the past few weeks we have shared some elements of The Thrive Programme.
 
If you are one of the people who has been impatiently awaiting each new post; reading it several times; taking the time to digest the content and apply it to your life, you will already be experiencing better mental health than you were a few weeks ago. Furthermore, you’ll have a clear knowledge and understanding of WHY you are feeling better, and you’ll  be excited that youre learning a skillset that you can continue to benefit from over the coming weeks, months and years. You might have had a few ‘aha moments’ or be feeling optimistic for the first time in a while. Some people say they feel liberated once they start thriving.
 
It may be that you have read some of the #thrivingathome posts and taken interest, but not put them into practice. If this is you – take heart, this is still a start. But, don’t be disappointed or dismissive if nothing has changed for you yet. The Thrive Programme is NOT a magic wand: reading the posts alone is not enough to change things. Thriving is a doing thing’ - it requires daily effort. Don’t stop here.
 
So, what’s next? 
 
Know that you’re in the right place. No matter how long you’ve struggled, The Thrive Programme has helped people just like you to change their lives by improving their mental health. 
 
You can go back and reread the posts as many times as you need to. But, don’t stop there: you need to put things into practice. This does feel strange, we know: but that’s essential to progress. If you need a little help there are some options for you:
 
If you’d like to do the full Thrive Programme, you can start TODAY. Visit our website to buy a manual, or to get referred to a licensed Thrive Programme Consultant (TC) who cant wait to support you through the whole programme, offering personalised support, accountability and encouragement. Your consultant not only wants to help you overcome any current difficulties, but will also encourage you to use your new skills and self-awareness to COMPLETELY change your life. We love to hear stories of things people go on to do once they’re thriving; the dreams that came true, the new directions their lives take and the fun they’re having. 
 
And, for those of you who are still sceptical that mental health IS something that is predictable, understandable and changeable,  know this:  Your mental health really matters to us and doubt is not unusual. If you think ‘this couldn’t work for me’ or ‘I can never overcome [depression]’ or ‘I will always suffer from [OCD]’, take a step back and consider where your beliefs about mental health have come from. WE know The Thrive Programme can work for you; but you need to accept this for yourself, otherwise why would you make the necessary efforts to get results?  

Society perpetuates both myths and ignorance that might have led you to believe that you are stuck with your mental health and it can’t be changed: you shouldn’t believe everything you are told!

Remember: a belief is just a belief - it’s not something fixed, it’s not something you were born with, its not an impenetrable fortress - it’s just a belief, and a belief is just a thought you keep thinking…

Let’s look at a MASSIVE belief millions of you held, that you completely changed in minutes… (Remember the balloon metaphor in Post  5? 🎈)

The vast majority of you reading this will probably have held a huge belief in… Santa Claus. OK, it was a long time ago, but those of us who did believe, REALLY did believe. You’d have bet your life on ‘it being real.  And yet one day, someone presents you with the tiniest bit of evidence suggesting the story isn’t true, and you switch, you go straight from ‘completely believing’, to ‘completely disbelieving’, in just a few seconds.

Your older brother, or one of the kids from school told you the story wasn’t true, and that it was your parents who bought the presents, your cat who drank the milk you left out for the reindeer, and your dad who ate the mice pies you left out for Santa. To make matters worse, they probably also pointed out that you lived in a flat, and didn’t have a chimney for Santa to climb down..

The point is, you were able to change a massive belief, in just a few moments.  Think what you could do with other beliefs that you currently hold...
 
We are telling you this because the truth about mental health is sometimes hidden or distorted – to our dismay. Some press and pharmaceutical giants and long-time sufferers of mental health problems even have a vested interest in manipulating your view of mental health, which is why you might be clinging to a belief that YOU are stuck with this, or that these post seem too simple to be effective.  But, mental health isn’t complicated: you’ve just not been told this before.
 
The truth is, anyone can thrive, if they are willing to master the skills and self-awareness.  Thriving requires you to build a strong sense of power and control and think positive, powerful thoughts.  At The Thrive Programme, our stock-in-trade is helping people build great mental health using these skills: we see lives changed every day and yours could be next. It’s proven. It’s quick. It’s revolutionary.
 
For those of us who are thriving, we feel passionately that you can experience it too. 
 
So, if you’ve got an urge to change, take action today. 

Share your story, get in touch, oh and drop us a message in the comments if you’d like a .pdf booklet of the #thrivingathome posts.  
 
The Thrive Programme Team 

PS Sorry if you didn’t know about the Santa thing #ouch😬

When you need to hit RESET🚨

On Wednesday we talked about a STRESSOMETER and how when you learn to gauge your stress levels and actively manage your thinking, you can keep yourself calm and in control. (Remember how powerfully you react to the pressures and hurdles in life determines your level of stress?)

But what if it all goes Pete Tong, what do you do then?

Well then you need to hit the Reset button🚨

If you’ve got yourself stressed, angry, upset or anxious, you can reset to a much calmer emotional state quite easily and quickly, by following these three steps:

When it is safe to do so:

✴️ Recognise - that you have got yourself stressed, and that your ’stressometer needle’ is in the red

✴️ Realise - that you have created this state by the way in which you have reacted to events - even though you might not know HOW you’ve achieved this right at this moment

✴️ Reset - your breathing, thinking and attitude

Breathing: focus for a few moments on your breathing - it’s likely you’re breathing quite fast - and start to take back control of it; start to slow it down. It might feel like you are trying to slow down a runaway horse, but that’s fine… just pull back on the reigns and tell yourself ‘woah there’, or just ‘calm down’ - if you’re not into horses!

Thinking: people panic, create stress, get anxious or angry because of the way they have reacted to something… their thinking has changed, and so has their emotional response. If you are in one of the states mentioned above, then its very likely you are thinking either in a ‘catastrophic’ or ‘black and white’ way, and you need to start thinking in a calmer, more in-control way. So, keep telling yourself 'everything is alright', that no matter what happened ‘you will cope’ and ‘it will be ok’. This will calm down your thinking, and help you regain perspective.

Attitude: when people feel powerful, they are much less likely to create fear, anxiety or stress. So if you have an attitude of ‘I can do this’, ‘I can beat this’ and/or ‘I can cope with this’, you will find it much easier to manage your breathing and thinking. The point is: don’t just think these things or just say these things, REALLY believe that you can, create a powerful attitude and you WILL find it much easier to manage your reactions to the events and pressures of modern life. The very act that you realise you have created the state in the first place is incredibly empowering… if you created it, then you can un-create it.

If you want to know how powerful you feel about life generally, take our beliefs quiz… just message us/comment below with ‘yes please’.

Have a great weekend.

#thrivingathome ... See MoreSee Less

When you need to hit RESET🚨 

On Wednesday we talked about a STRESSOMETER and how when you learn to gauge your stress levels and actively manage your thinking, you can keep yourself calm and in control. (Remember how powerfully you react to the pressures and hurdles in life determines your level of stress?)

But what if it all goes Pete Tong, what do you do then?

Well then you need to hit the Reset button🚨

If you’ve got yourself stressed, angry, upset or anxious, you can reset to a much calmer emotional state quite easily and quickly, by following these three steps:

When it is safe to do so:

✴️ Recognise -  that you have got yourself stressed, and that your ’stressometer needle’ is in the red

✴️ Realise - that you have created this state by the way in which you have reacted to events - even though you might not know HOW you’ve achieved this right at this moment

✴️ Reset - your breathing, thinking and attitude

Breathing: focus for a few moments on your breathing - it’s likely you’re breathing quite fast - and start to take back control of it; start to slow it down. It might feel like you are trying to slow down a runaway horse, but that’s fine… just pull back on the reigns and tell yourself ‘woah there’, or just ‘calm down’ - if you’re not into horses!

Thinking: people panic, create stress, get anxious or angry because of the way they have reacted to something… their thinking has changed, and so has their emotional response. If you are in one of the states mentioned above, then its very likely you are thinking either in a ‘catastrophic’ or ‘black and white’ way, and you need to start thinking in a calmer, more in-control way. So, keep telling yourself everything is alright, that no matter what happened ‘you will cope’ and ‘it will be ok’. This will calm down your thinking, and help you regain perspective.

Attitude: when people feel powerful, they are much less likely to create fear, anxiety or stress. So if you have an attitude of ‘I can do this’, ‘I can beat this’ and/or ‘I can cope with this’, you will find it much easier to manage your breathing and thinking. The point is: don’t just think these things or just say these things, REALLY believe that you can, create a powerful attitude and you WILL find it much easier to manage your reactions to the events and pressures of modern life. The very act that you realise you have created the state in the first place is incredibly empowering… if you created it, then you can un-create it. 

If you want to know how powerful you feel about life generally, take our beliefs quiz… just message us/comment below with ‘yes please’.

Have a great weekend.

#thrivingathome

Comment on Facebook

Yes please

Yes please

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Mental Health Made Simple Post 13

How well are you managing your stress levels? 🤯

Following on from our recent discussions about phobias, fears and anxieties not happening ’to you’ - but rather being created by the way in which we respond to events and situations in life - today we are going to talk about stress.

If it helps, imagine stress as what you experience in the moment, and anxiety as the stress you create about something in the future or the past.

Either way they are both created by the way in which you are REACTING TO events, rather than by the events themselves. (Some people love a dog, other people have a phobia of the same dog - it cannot be that the dog is genuinely terrifying, or we’d all feel terrified…).

Being frightened and running away from something GENUINELY THREATENING is a really important reaction to have, however if we are trained to be over-sensitive to perceived threats and we don’t believe we’d cope well in a certain situation, we’re going to react with stress and anxiety because we perceive the threat as genuine. This is why people with phobias react to non-threatening situations as if they were real… they ARE real to the sufferer.

If your general stress level is quite high, it stands to reason that you're more likely to ‘go into the red’ more quickly than someone who’s general stress level is quite low.

Imagine a ’stress-o-meter’, with a dial numbered 1 to 10. 1 is completely relaxed, 10 is ‘in the red’ and very stressed. Where are you right now? 🙂😕😩🤯

Most people have a level that they can get to and yet still stay relatively calm and in control…. If they can stay below this number, they’ll prevent themselves from getting really stressed or anxious. Whereas if they go above this number, they’ll get stressed very quickly AND begin to lose their perspective.

Remember the last time you had a row with someone? Remember that you said some things that - at the time - seemed absolutely truthful, real and accurate?
Remember the next day when you looked back and thought ‘omg did I really say that!?’

That's perspective: the more stressed you get (the more your stress level nears ’10’ on the stress-o-meter) the less perspective you have, due to the amount of emotion you are generating. Above a certain level you’ll begin to generate emotion - and hence lose perspective - very quickly. We call this a blip.

Once you are in a blip, it can take quite some time to get out of it…

So recognising your various stressometer levels is REALLY helpful, as you can then do something about them.

Remember: you have two levels you need to know about: your ’normal’ level, and your ’sh**s about to hit the fan’ level.

Between now and Friday you want to work out (on a scale of 1 to 10) what your two levels are. On Friday we’ll show you how to reset your stress, and get your level back down to ’normal’.

If you’d like a copy of our actual stressometer (get the whole family to mark their levels on it and stick it on the fridge) just reply below with ‘yes please’ in the comments section.

See you on Friday for the last post in this series: ‘hitting the reset button’

#thrivingathome ... See MoreSee Less

Mental Health Made Simple Post 13

How well are you managing your stress levels? 🤯

Following on from our recent discussions about phobias, fears and anxieties not happening ’to you’  - but rather being created by the way in which we respond to events and situations in life - today we are going to talk about stress.

If it helps, imagine stress as what you experience in the moment, and anxiety as the stress you create about something in the future or the past.

Either way they are both created by the way in which you are REACTING TO events, rather than by the events themselves. (Some people love a dog, other people have a phobia of the same dog - it cannot be that the dog is genuinely terrifying, or we’d all feel terrified…).

Being frightened and running away from something GENUINELY THREATENING is a really important reaction to have, however if we are trained to be over-sensitive to perceived threats and we don’t believe we’d cope well in a certain situation, we’re going to react with stress and anxiety because we perceive the threat as genuine.  This is why people with phobias react to non-threatening situations as if they were real… they ARE real to the sufferer.

If your general stress level is quite high, it stands to reason that youre more likely to ‘go into the red’ more quickly than someone who’s general stress level is quite low.

Imagine a ’stress-o-meter’, with a dial numbered 1 to 10.  1 is completely relaxed, 10 is ‘in the red’ and very stressed.  Where are you right now? 🙂😕😩🤯

Most people have a level that they can get to and yet still stay relatively calm and in control…. If they can stay below this number, they’ll prevent themselves from getting really stressed or anxious.  Whereas if they go above this number, they’ll get stressed very quickly AND begin to lose their perspective.

Remember the last time you had a row with someone? Remember that you said some things that - at the time - seemed absolutely truthful, real and accurate?
Remember the next day when you looked back and thought ‘omg did I really say that!?’ 

Thats perspective: the more stressed you get (the more your stress level nears ’10’ on the stress-o-meter) the less perspective you have, due to the amount of emotion you are generating. Above a certain level you’ll begin to generate emotion - and hence lose perspective - very quickly.  We call this a blip. 

Once you are in a blip, it can take quite some time to get out of it…

So recognising your various stressometer levels is REALLY helpful, as you can then do something about them.

Remember: you have two levels you need to know about: your ’normal’ level, and your ’sh**s about to hit the fan’ level.

Between now and Friday you want to work out (on a scale of 1 to 10) what your two levels are. On Friday we’ll show you how to reset your stress, and get your level back down to ’normal’.

If you’d like a copy of our actual stressometer (get the whole family to mark their levels on it and stick it on the fridge) just reply below with ‘yes please’ in the comments section.

See you on Friday for the last post in this series: ‘hitting the reset button’

#thrivingathome

Mental Health Made Simple - Post 12
 


‘Sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me’

🤬
 
Remember that? 

As you grow up, you realise that’s hardly true and that words can cut deeper than any knife.

However, today, we’re talking about the power of words: Not to harm, but to shape our thoughts and feelings.



If you read our post last Wednesday, you know we don’t experience ‘reality’, we experience our interpretation of reality: first, the event, then your reaction to the event (based on your Sense of Power and Control), then your emotion.


Well, what if the words we say to others or we think to or about ourselves are dramatic, or even catastrophic?

Words provide a window into our thinking and our beliefs. This can be a virtuous cycle: positive words affect our thinking and our positive thinking affects our words. The opposite, of course, is also true.

Listen to the things you say and the way you say them👂
 
“I’m starving” 😱

This is said in homes and offices all around the country, but, STARVING? Are you really starving?? You’re peckish at best 🙂
 


A sunny day and suddenly everyone is “boiling”. Really? Even if it’s just a turn of phrase, it has an impact - one likely to cause distress and anxiety 🥵



Our language is evocative; paints powerful pictures in our minds and can create some very strong emotions.


You might be used to saying things like, “That made me feel…” or “Luckily, I….”



NOTHING ‘makes you feel’ anything. YOU make yourself feel things: in that split second between something happening and you ‘feeling’ something, you have a thought. It’s those thoughts that create your feelings: understanding and accepting this is fundamental to thriving. So, X happened and I made myself feel Y.

If you speak and think in negative words you will lower your mood, anticipate negative outcomes, make yourself stressed, reduce your self-esteem, increase your social anxiety, and contribute to your feelings of powerlessness.

If you use and think in positive words you will feel powerful, anticipate positive outcomes, create less stress, increase your self-esteem, reduce your social anxiety and contribute to you feeling a more internal Sense of Power and Control.

If you look at your FREE Thrive Quotient report, you can see the areas in your life where you feel powerful (high SPACE score) and areas you still need to build up. Listen to the things you say and notice how your language changes. (Message us if you’d like to take your THRIVE PROGRAMME ASSESSMENT and receive your report!) 😃

See you Wednesday 🙂

#thrivingathome ... See MoreSee Less

Mental Health Made Simple - Post 12
 


‘Sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me’ 

🤬
 
Remember that? 

As you grow up, you realise that’s hardly true and that words can cut deeper than any knife. 

However, today, we’re talking about the power of words: Not to harm, but to shape our thoughts and feelings. 



If you read our post last Wednesday, you know we don’t experience ‘reality’, we experience our interpretation of reality: first, the event, then your reaction to the event (based on your Sense of Power and Control), then your emotion.


Well, what if the words we say to others or we think to or about ourselves are dramatic, or even catastrophic?

Words provide a window into our thinking and our beliefs. This can be a virtuous cycle: positive words affect our thinking and our positive thinking affects our words.  The opposite, of course, is also true. 

Listen to the things you say and the way you say them👂
 
“I’m starving” 😱

This is said in homes and offices all around the country, but, STARVING? Are you really starving?? You’re peckish at best 🙂
 


A sunny day and suddenly everyone is “boiling”. Really? Even if it’s just a turn of phrase, it has an impact - one likely to cause distress and anxiety 🥵
 


Our language is evocative; paints powerful pictures in our minds and can create some very strong emotions.


You might be used to saying things like, “That made me feel…” or “Luckily, I….”
 


NOTHING ‘makes you feel’ anything.  YOU make yourself feel things: in that split second between something happening and you ‘feeling’ something, you have a thought. It’s those thoughts that create your feelings: understanding and accepting this is fundamental to thriving. So, X happened and I made myself feel Y. 

If you speak and think in negative words you will lower your mood, anticipate negative outcomes, make yourself stressed, reduce your self-esteem, increase your social anxiety, and contribute to your feelings of powerlessness.

If you use and think in positive words you will feel powerful, anticipate positive outcomes, create less stress, increase your self-esteem, reduce your social anxiety and contribute to you feeling a more internal Sense of Power and Control.

If you look at your FREE Thrive Quotient report, you can see the areas in your life where you feel powerful (high SPACE score) and areas you still need to build up. Listen to the things you say and notice how your language changes. (Message us if you’d like to take your THRIVE PROGRAMME ASSESSMENT and receive your report!) 😃

See you Wednesday 🙂

#thrivingathome

Comment on Facebook

Dialect will also affect word use. Starving in Yorkshire means cold not hungry that is cleaned

I much prefer answering in kind (and then some) especially if it is not true or factual . . . I have a back bone . . . do you?

Mental Health Made Simple Post- 11

Self-esteem is such an important element of good mental health, but for some people their self-esteem is very low ⚠️

Maybe you’re surprised to read that self-esteem is an important part of good mental health?

Let’s be clear what ‘self-esteem’ means. It’s simple: self-esteem is what YOU currently think and feel about YOU.

It’s not about other people’s opinion. It’s about YOUR OPINION of you but you might be basing your opinion on what you believe others may think of you!

People with low self-esteem think unfavourably of themselves and people with high self-esteem…. Well, they think the opposite.

YOU can have high self-esteem and it’s well-worth your while to invest time and effort into creating this for yourself. Starting now. Having low self-esteem affects your mental health which is reason enough to learn more about it, yes?
�Self-esteem is not fixed, and it’s not inherited or caused by what happens to you in life. Read that again: it’s radical and it’s a surprise to some people.

Sure, if you enjoy a flurry of success you will find it easier to enjoy self-esteem, but success does not dictate self-esteem. This is why there are so many miserable millionaires: no amount of cash in the bank or status symbols will ever be enough to improve low self-esteem. They may hope that the next luxury mansion or superyacht or gorgeous spouse will be enough to make them feel secure and positive.

But high self esteem remains elusive until they realise self-esteem is generated INSIDE your head (by YOU) and not by your bank balance and status.

People with high self-esteem think positive, charitable, generous thoughts about themselves. Call this ‘self-love’ or ‘ego’ if you like, it doesn’t matter: the end goal is increasing self-esteem.

You know you can choose how you think, and - if you’ve been following this series - hopefully you’ll be starting to make different choices about the thoughts you allow into your mind. Remember, you can choose how you think and that includes making a choice about the WAY YOU THINK ABOUT YOURSELF.

Imagine self-esteem as a rechargeable battery - your self-esteem battery 🔋 You need to keep charge (positive thoughts towards/about yourself) flowing into the battery, or the battery will run low. You need to be actively putting charge into your battery - especially during stressful times such as these 🔌

To put charge into your battery, we use an excellent technique we call ‘Processing the Positives’. This may sound too simple to be effective, but trust us: it works. Processing the positives is easy to personalise and it’s rooted in positive psychology and the science of gratitude.

The really good news? You can start today.

Processing the positives is straightforward.

Action: Every day you need to list ten positive things about yourself and your life, and spend some time thinking about each of them in a powerful, positive way.��When you’re new to this, and especially if you’re a perfectionist, it can be quite a challenge. Your brain is simply not used to the task and some resistance is to be expected. This doesn’t mean you can’t; it merely means you need to put a little more persistent effort into it. Trust the process: it gets easier.

Immediately after you’ve read this, open your notebook or the notes page in your phone and start to write. ONLY write the positives; don’t let yourself cheat by thinking ‘yes, but…’

e.g. I made tea for my partner 🔋
NOT: I made tea for my partner but I added too much milk

I enjoyed sitting in the garden 🔋�NOT: I enjoyed sitting in the garden but I should have been doing chores

If you don’t know where to start – and some people with low self-esteem struggle to get started – think of a negative and flip it to a positive.

For example:

‘I’m too weak and spindly' could be changed to ‘I have the opportunity to fall in love with exercise and develop some new eating habits over the next few weeks’ or ‘My body is healthy and strong’🔋

‘I’m heartbroken after my separation’ can be changed to ‘I have an opportunity for personal space and new connections as I recover from the relationship’🔋

It is important to have ten things on your list. Keep it somewhere you can refer to it regularly, and that you make time each day where you can spend time concentrating on processing your positives. Some people use their phone, others prefer to think in ink and use their journal or post it notes. The important thing is to find what works for you, and enjoy the process.

‘Processing’ means reflecting on how good you felt at the time; how your thought or care or contribution is a good reflection on you; how you were ‘in the moment’ or focusing your thoughts and attention on positive things.

Whenever you catch yourself feeling down or your battery needs a boost, get out your list and spend some time thinking through each item. If you’re really struggling, set a timer on your phone and reread your positives every hour. This helps to re-energise your thinking and help you change habits of old.

Enjoy this time focusing on the positive things about you and your life. Lots of thrivers continue this process even after they’ve completed the Thrive Programme course. We regularly receive photos of people’s houses decorated with ‘positives’: for example, in the kitchen so they’re easy to see when you’re making lunch or brewing a cup of tea; or around the bathroom mirror so you can process the positives when you brush your teeth in the morning.
�HOW and WHERE you opt to process the positives is not the important factor. The important factor is that you CHOOSE TO DO IT.

Commit to this habit, updating your list every day with one or two positives, and within a couple of weeks you can expect to have much higher self-esteem, regardless of your starting point.

Why not start your list with the fact you’re reading these posts and that you’re helping yourself take control of your mental health?

See you Monday 🙂

#thrivingathome ... See MoreSee Less

Mental Health Made Simple - Post 10

Every emotion you experience is BRAND NEW - it’s your choice how you feel!

In order to truly take control of your life and learn to thrive, there are a couple of concepts that - for some people - can be difficult to get your head around.

We’re going to talk about one of them today: the fact that we don’t store emotions.

We don’t store emotions! 🍾❌

This can be a hard fact to grasp because it flies in the face of: everything you’ve ever been told by a therapist, anything you’ve ever read in a self-help book, and what you probably believe to be true based on your life-experiences to date.

On top of all that, the English language is littered with expressions that suggest we do bottle up emotions… the phrase ‘bottled up emotions’ being one of them! The belief that you are going through life with lots of stored, repressed, bottled up emotions, and that these emotions are holding you back in some way, stopping you from living life to the full, somehow trapping you in your past… well, it’s just not true.

Your emotions are a reaction TO something, some event, thought or experience.

You first have the event, then you have your reaction to the event (based on your Sense of Power and Control), then you have your emotion - your experience of the event.

It's as simple as 1,2,3. First, the event. Second, your reaction.Third, your experience.

Let’s look at an example…

You’re walking around town and a dog appears in front of you and barks at you (1) Now, if you love dogs, your reaction (2) is likely to be surprise and pleasure, and therefore your emotion/experience (3) will be a nice, happy feeling. However, if you don’t feel comfortable around dogs, number (1) will be exactly the same for you, however your (2) is likely to be surprise and fear, making your experience (3) to be very unpleasant, with your heart beating fast, and you feeling very anxious. You WEREN’T anxious because you came across a barking dog, but because when you came across a barking dog you processed the experience in a powerless way, and you CREATED an anxious emotional response.

Imagine you are 80 years old, and you have had a phobia of dogs since you were bitten by a dog, at the age of ten. You’ve had this phobia for 70 years. Every time you’ve seen, heard, or even read about a dog - for the last 70 years - you’ve reacted to the event with fear, anxiety and panic.

What’s causing your phobia today? 70 years ago you created a powerful belief about dogs - they are scary, unpredictable and dangerous - and you have been thinking the same way ever since!

It is your belief that creates your experience - how powerful and confident you feel around dogs. Bearing in mind a belief is just a thought you keep thinking, stop thinking the same thoughts about dogs, and your phobia is no more.

In the same vein:
✴️ Sad movies don’t make us cry

✴️ Bad drivers (and politicians!) don’t make us frustrated

✴️ Our favourite band splitting up doesn’t make us depressed

✴️ Seeing a friend doesn’t make us happy

✴️ Remembering being bullied at school doesn’t make us angry

It's the way in which we respond to these events that dictates how we are going to feel - we make ourselves angry by the way we think back to being bullied. If we react in a powerful way, believing we can cope with whatever life throws at us, we react entirely differently.

We create emotions in the moment - right now - they are not bubbling up, coming to the surface or being released: they are being created, brand new, right now, by the way in which you are responding to an event or situation in life, and you can change them!

So, take control, stop blaming your past - or your present - for how you feel about something.

Take responsibility for your emotions: change the way you think, and you’ll change the way you feel.

See you on Friday 🙂

#thrivingathome ... See MoreSee Less

Mental Health Made Simple - Post 10
 
Every emotion you experience is BRAND NEW - it’s your choice how you feel!
 
In order to truly take control of your life and learn to thrive, there are a couple of concepts that - for some people - can be difficult to get your head around. 
 
We’re going to talk about one of them today: the fact that we don’t store emotions.
 
We don’t store emotions! 🍾❌
 
This can be a hard fact to grasp because it flies in the face of: everything you’ve ever been told by a therapist, anything you’ve ever read in a self-help book, and what you probably believe to be true based on your life-experiences to date.
 
On top of all that, the English language is littered with expressions that suggest we do bottle up emotions… the phrase ‘bottled up emotions’ being one of them!  The belief  that you are going through life with lots of stored, repressed, bottled up emotions, and that these emotions are holding you back in some way, stopping you from living life to the full, somehow trapping you in your past… well, it’s just not true.
 
Your emotions are a reaction TO something, some event, thought or experience. 
 
You first have the event, then you have your reaction to the event (based on your Sense of Power and Control), then you have your emotion - your experience of the event.

Its as simple as 1,2,3. First, the event. Second, your reaction.Third, your experience.
 
Let’s look at an example…
 
You’re walking around town and a dog appears in front of you and barks at you (1) Now, if you love dogs, your reaction (2) is likely to be surprise and pleasure, and therefore your emotion/experience (3) will be a nice, happy feeling.  However, if you don’t feel comfortable around dogs, number (1) will be exactly the same for you, however your (2) is likely to be surprise and fear, making your experience (3) to be very unpleasant, with your heart beating fast, and you feeling very anxious. You WEREN’T anxious because you came across a barking dog, but because when you came across a barking dog you processed the experience in a powerless way, and you CREATED an anxious emotional response.
 
Imagine you are 80 years old, and you have had a phobia of dogs since you were bitten by a dog, at the age of ten. You’ve had this phobia for 70 years.  Every time you’ve seen, heard, or even read about a dog - for the last 70 years - you’ve reacted to the event with fear, anxiety and panic.
 
What’s causing your phobia today?  70 years ago you created a powerful belief about dogs - they are scary, unpredictable and dangerous - and you have been thinking the same way ever since!  

It is your belief that creates your experience - how powerful and confident you feel around dogs.  Bearing in mind a belief is just a thought you keep thinking, stop thinking the same thoughts about dogs, and your phobia is no more.
 
In the same vein:
✴️ Sad movies don’t make us cry

✴️ Bad drivers (and politicians!) don’t make us frustrated

✴️ Our favourite band splitting up doesn’t make us depressed

✴️ Seeing a friend doesn’t make us happy

✴️ Remembering being bullied at school doesn’t make us angry
 
Its the way in which we respond to these events that dictates how we are going to feel - we make ourselves angry by the way we think back to being bullied. If we react in a powerful way, believing we can cope with whatever life throws at us, we react entirely differently.
 
We create emotions in the moment - right now - they are not bubbling up, coming to the surface or being released: they are being created, brand new, right now, by the way in which you are responding to an event or situation in life, and you can change them!
 
So, take control, stop blaming your past - or your present  - for how you feel about something.
 
Take responsibility for your emotions: change the way you think, and you’ll change the way you feel.
 
See you on Friday 🙂

#thrivingathome

Comment on Facebook

Just talk about how you feel, or write it down, and throw the paper away , along with your fears

Very true and real wisdom 🙂

So true xx

I do I'm afraid 😞

Mental Health Made Simple - Post 9

What colour glasses are you wearing today? 🤓

Today is about the importance of attitude. Your attitude is your approach to life… the way you CHOOSE to see and process what is happening in your world

Everyone wears glasses every day - and here we’re not talking about the type you buy from Specsavers, we’re talking about your ‘attitude glasses’… the glasses that you put on this morning that will determine what sort of day you’ll have today.

Jeff Keller said, ‘Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way'.

We all know an eternal optimist: a Del Boy who bounds into the room with the smile on their face and makes everything feel good - ’this next year Rodney we’ll be millionaires’. Equally, we all know an eternal pessimist, a Victor Meldrew who complains at every opportunity and for whom nothing is good enough. (If you can't access UK TV, Google ‘Del Boy’ and ‘Victor Meldrew - you’ll see what we mean!)

Two different attitudes that have nothing to do with what’s going on and everything to do with how the person is CHOOSING to think, how they are CHOOSING to view the world, how they are CHOOSING to feel today.

Attitude extends beyond optimism and pessimism. It’s also about self-belief. If you have sessions with a Thrive Consultant, they’ll listen closely to the words you say, because language is a clear window into your thinking. Because power and control, choice and responsibility are key to your thriving, they will challenge you if they hear you say phrases like these:

I’ll try…
I hope to …
I might…
One day…
Eventually…

Those are wishy-washy and prevent you from thriving. Your friends and family may be accustomed to you using phrases like this. Why not? There’s nothing wrong with them in themselves, but we want more for you: you should want more for yourself.

Your INACTION has as much an impact on your future as your ACTION.

You’re just one thought away from changing your attitude. There’s NOTHING standing in your way.

Your attitude affects the way you see life, the way you think about life and the way you show up in life. It’s like putting on a pair of glasses. Some people wear ‘s**t-tinted glasses’ and see the worst in everything and everyone.

✴️ They don’t see the opportunities - but they do see the hazards.

✴️ They don’t see the sunshine - but they do see the shadows.

✴️ They are blind to the cheerleaders while they search for the naysayers.

✴️ They see threats, danger, and problems all around them.

Maybe this is you: have you been wearing s**t-tinted specs? Are you reading this thinking, ‘that sounds hard’ or ‘I could never think any differently?’

If so, take off your s**t-tinted specs and put on your Thrive glasses! Make the decision to start thinking differently and cultivating a new attitude for yourself. Look for the opportunities, the positives, the best things in any situation.

As you consciously change your attitude, your thinking will change. Alarm bells will go off and red flags will appear when you breathe a sigh of despair or desperation and this will remind you to take your s**t-tinted glasses OFF and think differently. If you hear those innocent-sounding words ‘I’ll try’ ‘I hope’ or ‘I might’ come from your mouth, you’ll chuckle to yourself as you realise it’s time to change your attitude AND your words and say something that reflects your true power and potential. ‘I can….’ ‘I will… ‘I can’t wait…’

Like everything in The Thrive Programme, mental health is simple – you just have to do the right things; think the right thoughts and remember that the power lies with you..

Why don’t you start right now by writing a list of ten positive things in - or about - your life?
Yes, we’re all in lockdown, yes we can’t see our friends, yes there is a toilet-roll shortage, and yes some of us will get ill and, sadly, some may even die.

BUT…. But what? Here is where you write your list…

This is a lady called Clare’s, from yesterday:

1. The sun is out
2. I have a loving partner
3. I have three beautiful, healthy kids
4. I have a roof over my head
5. There is food in the fridge (and wine!)
6. We have an amazing National Health Service
7. The top experts in the world are working on a cure for this bloody virus
8. Music
9. My dog makes me smile
10. I woke up today!

By consciously taking the time to sit down and think of these ten ‘positives’, Clare created her attitude towards the day. This positive, life-affirming, ‘thrivey’ attitude ensured she had a great day yesterday.

Write YOUR list, choose YOUR attitude: What sort of day do YOU want?

See you on Wednesday 💪 ... See MoreSee Less

Mental Health Made Simple - Post 9

What colour glasses are you wearing today? 🤓

Today is about the importance of attitude. Your attitude is your approach to life… the way you CHOOSE to see and process what is happening in your world

Everyone wears glasses every day - and here we’re not talking about the type you buy from Specsavers, we’re talking about your ‘attitude glasses’… the glasses that you put on this morning that will determine what sort of day you’ll have today.

Jeff Keller said, ‘Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.

We all know an eternal optimist: a Del Boy who bounds into the room with the smile on their face and makes everything feel good - ’this next year Rodney we’ll be millionaires’. Equally, we all know an eternal pessimist, a Victor Meldrew who complains at every opportunity and for whom nothing is good enough. (If you cant access UK TV, Google ‘Del Boy’ and ‘Victor Meldrew - you’ll see what we mean!)

Two different attitudes that have nothing to do with what’s going on and everything to do with how the person is CHOOSING to think, how they are CHOOSING to view the world, how they are CHOOSING to feel today.

Attitude extends beyond optimism and pessimism. It’s also about self-belief. If you have sessions with a Thrive Consultant, they’ll listen closely to the words you say, because language is a clear window into your thinking. Because power and control, choice and responsibility are key to your thriving, they will challenge you if they hear you say phrases like these:

I’ll try…
I hope to …
I might…
One day…
Eventually…

Those are wishy-washy and prevent you from thriving. Your friends and family may be accustomed to you using phrases like this. Why not? There’s nothing wrong with them in themselves, but we want more for you: you should want more for yourself.

Your INACTION has as much an impact on your future as your ACTION.

You’re just one thought away from changing your attitude. There’s NOTHING standing in your way.

Your attitude affects the way you see life, the way you think about life and the way you show up in life. It’s like putting on a pair of glasses. Some people wear ‘s**t-tinted glasses’ and see the worst in everything and everyone.

✴️ They don’t see the opportunities - but they do see the hazards.

✴️ They don’t see the sunshine - but they do see the shadows.

✴️ They are blind to the cheerleaders while they search for the naysayers.

✴️ They see threats, danger, and problems all around them.

Maybe this is you: have you been wearing s**t-tinted specs? Are you reading this thinking, ‘that sounds hard’ or ‘I could never think any differently?’

If so, take off your s**t-tinted specs and put on your Thrive glasses! Make the decision to start thinking differently and cultivating a new attitude for yourself. Look for the opportunities, the positives, the best things in any situation.

As you consciously change your attitude, your thinking will change. Alarm bells will go off and red flags will appear when you breathe a sigh of despair or desperation and this will remind you to take your s**t-tinted glasses OFF and think differently. If you hear those innocent-sounding words ‘I’ll try’ ‘I hope’ or ‘I might’ come from your mouth, you’ll chuckle to yourself as you realise it’s time to change your attitude AND your words and say something that reflects your true power and potential. ‘I can….’ ‘I will… ‘I can’t wait…’

Like everything in The Thrive Programme, mental health is simple – you just have to do the right things; think the right thoughts and remember that the power lies with you..

Why don’t you start right now by writing a list of ten positive things in - or about - your life?
Yes, we’re all in lockdown, yes we can’t see our friends, yes there is a toilet-roll shortage, and yes some of us will get ill and, sadly, some may even die.

BUT…. But what? Here is where you write your list…

This is a lady called Clare’s, from yesterday:

1. The sun is out
2. I have a loving partner
3. I have three beautiful, healthy kids
4. I have a roof over my head
5. There is food in the fridge (and wine!)
6. We have an amazing National Health Service
7. The top experts in the world are working on a cure for this bloody virus
8. Music
9. My dog makes me smile
10. I woke up today!

By consciously taking the time to sit down and think of these ten ‘positives’, Clare created her attitude towards the day. This positive, life-affirming, ‘thrivey’ attitude ensured she had a great day yesterday.

Write YOUR list, choose YOUR attitude: What sort of day do YOU want?

See you on Wednesday 💪

Comment on Facebook

My usual dark brown polarised shades, most of the time I was outside today except in the shady areas. Sensory sensitivity makes it hard for me to see where I'm going if walking towards the sun otherwise.

Wish it was that easy.....

Red reading glasses

When one wakes up in the morning, it's a great start to the day....

Room for thought I think 🤔

Yeah right !

Read Schopemhauer and learn .

People that pretend there's a choice in life are the people that haven't woken up to reality, these are the people that are going to wake up with a massive bang one day and not be able to cope with real life.

View more comments

Mental Health Made Simple - Post 8

We’ve already discussed the fact that most people don’t have a very ‘Internal Sense of Power and Control’, that is, most people pay far more attention to factors and influences outside of themselves, than they do to their own inner strengths and abilities. What's more, they believe these EXTERNAL influences are significantly more powerful than their INTERNAL strengths.

This leads to people feeling quite powerless - especially around their emotional responses to these outside influences - which in turn creates a number of different effects, some of which you will have heard of, like 'social anxiety' and 'obedience to authority’.

Stanley Milgram set up the most famous ‘blind obedience study’ at Yale in 1963, to test how many volunteers would give (progressively worse!) electric shocks to people - just because an authority figure (a man in a white coat) told them to do so. The last click on the shock machine read ‘DEADLY SHOCK’, and yet despite this warning, two thirds of people turned the dial all the way round and shocked the other volunteers until they heard them yelp, and collapse to the ground with a thud (actually no-one was harmed during the experiment as actors were used and there were no real shocks happening).

This experiment has been replicated many times around the world and the results are consistent each time - about two thirds of people will give another person a major electric shock, just because they are told to by an authority figure.

What has this got to do with you ’thriving at home’? Well, it’s just an example of how susceptible people can be to external influences.

These external influences play havoc with our thinking, and we just end up responding to them in robotic fashion. We don’t THINK about how we are going to respond, we just respond.

What external influences are currently playing havoc with your thinking?

Well, the most damaging current external influences for many people are social media, the news and their friends/family (usually in that order)

✴️ How many times a day are you currently being told frightening and shocking news that leaves you fearful for your life?
✴️ How many times a day are friends messaging you/sending you ‘helpful’ videos and stories?
✴️ How many times a day do you tune into the news to hear terrible story after terrible story?

Each time you read, see or hear one of these stories or bulletins, you feel more deflated, more scared, more feeling out of control.

But what SHOULD you do?

You need to follow Govt. guidelines - Stay home and protect the NHS, but what can you do to protect your own sanity?

It’s not difficult: turn off the news, come off social media, stop talking to negative/catastrophic friends

If watching the news leaves you feeling panicky and anxious, STOP WATCHING IT! When you have a stronger Sense of Power and Control, the news will no longer automatically influence your thinking and will not leave you creating anxiety and fear in the way it might do at the moment.

Or, if one of your friends or family members is a real 'Debbie Downer', recognise that their negativity is a huge threat to your positivity as you start changing your thinking habits. By all means, talk to these people, but put additional effort into protecting yourself: anxiety is catching (so is positivity).

And, social media: something that absorbs your time and attracts your attention. Social media can be wonderful ONLY IF you actively monitor your intake and the impact it has on your thinking.

This is hard, by design: tech companies pay millions of dollars in their attempt to hijack your mind so YES it is hard to look away & even harder to switch off. The enticing use of images, dramatic language and likes are addictive. The media you watched is not innocently created for your entertainment, nor merely for information, but intentionally engineered to manipulate and control your mind.

This means it’s really hard to maintain control of your mind unless you switch everything off: this is not due to weakness on your part; but you will need to make a deliberate choice to take control, for your sake.

With all these things, you have the option to change your 'media diet'. Not necessarily for ever, but for now.

Rest assured that 'important news' will still reach you; social media will still be there and friends and family will want to spend MORE time with you once you’ve retrained your brain to think calm, powerful thoughts.

Remember, you have choices. You always have choices. Instead of watching news, why not watch comedy instead? If you always listen to the radio in the car, you could use this time for podcasts or an uplifting playlist. Instead of talking to an anxious friend, do a workout or tidy your sock drawer or take a cup of tea outside and enjoy the sunshine. Make it easy for yourself to think more positively.

If you want to THRIVE through these testing times, take our advice and act upon it!

Wishing you all a relaxing Easter weekend. We'll be back on Monday 🙂 ... See MoreSee Less

Mental Health Made Simple - Post 8

We’ve already discussed the fact that most people don’t have a very ‘Internal Sense of Power and Control’, that is, most people pay far more attention to factors and influences outside of themselves, than they do to their own inner strengths and abilities. Whats more, they believe these EXTERNAL influences are significantly more powerful than their INTERNAL strengths. 

This leads to people feeling quite powerless  - especially around their emotional responses to these outside influences - which in turn creates a number of different effects, some of which you will have heard of, like social anxiety and obedience to authority’. 

Stanley Milgram set up the most famous ‘blind obedience study’ at Yale in 1963,  to test how many volunteers would give (progressively worse!) electric shocks to people - just because an authority figure (a man in a white coat) told them to do so.  The last click on the shock machine read ‘DEADLY SHOCK’, and yet despite this warning, two thirds of people turned the dial all the way round and shocked the other volunteers until they heard them yelp, and collapse to the ground with a thud (actually no-one was harmed during the experiment as actors were used and there were no real shocks happening).

This experiment has been replicated many times around the world and the results are consistent each time - about two thirds of people will give another person a major electric shock, just because they are told to by an authority figure.

What has this got to do with you ’thriving at home’?  Well, it’s just an example of how susceptible people can be to external influences.

These external influences play havoc with our thinking, and we just end up responding to them in robotic fashion.  We don’t THINK about how we are going to respond, we just respond.

What external influences are currently playing havoc with your thinking?

Well, the most damaging current external influences for many people are social media, the news and their friends/family (usually in that order)

✴️ How many times a day are you currently being told frightening and shocking news that leaves you fearful for your life?
✴️ How many times a day are friends messaging you/sending you ‘helpful’ videos and stories?
✴️ How many times a day do you tune into the news to hear terrible story after terrible story?

Each time you read, see or hear one of these stories or bulletins, you feel more deflated, more scared, more feeling out of control.

But what SHOULD you do?

You need to follow Govt. guidelines - Stay home and protect the NHS, but what can you do to protect your own sanity?

It’s not difficult: turn off the news, come off social media, stop talking to negative/catastrophic friends
 
If watching the news leaves you feeling panicky and anxious, STOP WATCHING IT! When you have a stronger Sense of Power and Control, the news will no longer automatically influence your thinking and will not leave you creating anxiety and fear in the way it might do at the moment. 
 
Or, if one of your friends or family members is a real Debbie Downer, recognise that their negativity is a huge threat to your positivity as you start changing your thinking habits. By all means, talk to these people, but put additional effort into protecting yourself: anxiety is catching (so is positivity).
 
And, social media: something that absorbs your time and attracts your attention. Social media can be wonderful ONLY IF you actively monitor your intake and the impact it has on your thinking. 
 
This is hard, by design: tech companies pay millions of dollars in their attempt to hijack your mind so YES it is hard to look away & even harder to switch off. The enticing use of images, dramatic language and likes are addictive. The media you watched is not innocently created for your entertainment, nor merely for information, but intentionally engineered to manipulate and control your mind. 

This means it’s really hard to maintain control of your mind unless you switch everything off: this is not due to weakness on your part; but you will need to make a deliberate choice to take control, for your sake.
 
With all these things, you have the option to change your media diet. Not necessarily for ever, but for now.
 
Rest assured that important news will still reach you; social media will still be there and friends and family will want to spend MORE time with you once you’ve retrained your brain to think calm, powerful thoughts. 
 
Remember, you have choices. You always have choices. Instead of watching news, why not watch comedy instead? If you always listen to the radio in the car, you could use this time for podcasts or an uplifting playlist. Instead of talking to an anxious friend, do a workout or tidy your sock drawer or take a cup of tea outside and enjoy the sunshine. Make it easy for yourself to think more positively. 
 
If you want to THRIVE through these testing times, take our advice and act upon it!

Wishing you all a relaxing Easter weekend. Well be back on Monday 🙂

Mental Health Made Simple - Post 7

GOOD NEWS! 💭 💭 💭

You have thousands of opportunities - every single day - to feel calmer and more in control in your life.

50,000 - to be more precise - as this is the number of thoughts you think on a daily basis, and each of those thoughts has a massive impact on your beliefs, attitudes and emotions.

If you get up about 8am and go to sleep about 10pm, that’s roughly one thought every second...

Your thinking may feel automatic or inevitable, but this is not the case. There is a nanosecond between something happening and you creating a thought about it: and this is the moment when you can choose your thought. Even if you've thought a weak, powerless thought, you can STOP and change it for something better. The thoughts you think create the feelings you experience.

💭 The thoughts you think create the feelings you experience. 💭

Try it. Try it now. Reflect back to something you’ve already thought today. Maybe you listened to the news this morning and you started thinking scared, anxious or helpless thoughts. The news may well have been serious or concerning, but this doesn’t mean you have to think negatively about it. Here are some alternatives.

✴️ Think positive. There are often two sides to every story: think about the positive one.

✴️ Think safe. How does this news directly impact on your life? Can you change a negative thought for one of relief or patience?

✴️ Think calmly. Just because something terrible has happened, it doesn’t mean you have to think catastrophic thoughts. You might have been conditioned to think in this way: after all, catastrophe sells papers, keeps the airwaves buzzing and attracts your attention on social media. Nonetheless, you have a CHOICE.

When you start to become more consciously aware of your thoughts, it can be a nasty surprise to realise how your mind has become used to thinking negatively, and a pleasant surprise to recognise that you can change this.

To begin with it will feel odd to stop and make a conscious choice about what to think, but in time, and as your awareness grows, it gets easier. As you start focusing on your thoughts and begin to make a deliberate choice over what to think, prepare yourself to feel a little uncomfortable to start with. This is because it’s new (the brain doesn’t like new: it much prefers old and familiar, even if what’s familiar is also causing you to feel weak and powerless; down and depressed).

Feeling uncomfortable is absolutely FINE. But, you will need to tolerate the feelings of uncertainty as you get used to it.

Thinking habits can be changed really quickly – and the more effort you put in, the quicker you’ll reap the benefits.

Remember back to our last post where we talked about beliefs… where we said that having strong, powerful beliefs were the key to having good mental health (strong ‘foundations’)? We also stated that ‘a belief is just a thought you keep thinking’… well, changing some of these 50,000 thoughts you have each day is the simplest and easiest way of creating better, more helpful and powerful beliefs.

We know that people with mental health issues tend to have some common negative thinking styles. They are prone to thinking of things as either ‘good’ or ‘bad’ – this is black & white thinking. Or they catastrophise even the smallest of setbacks, which causes feelings of stress and panic.

Some people brood and ruminate, perhaps in an attempt to control a situation- even though brooding has little or no influence on the outcome.

Remember, stop and think! Only you can do this for yourself. Do not allow yourself the luxury of a negative thought just because it's easy: put the effort in to thinking and feeling better.

Think the powerful, positive thoughts you need to feel good. Learn to tolerate the feelings of uncertainty, and get used to having a calm and optimistic outlook on life, knowing that you're in control. This time next week your new outlook could already feel normal.

If you missed the chance to take the beliefs quiz from our last post, and you want to know that many of your beliefs are powerful and helpful and how many are potentially holding you back in life, just reply ‘yes please’ in a comment to this post, and I’ll message you a link to it. You’ll get a - free - six-page report! 👇👇👇 ... See MoreSee Less

5% of life happens to you, and the other 95% comes from how you choose to react to it!

Heard that before?

The 95% all comes down to your beliefs - how powerful and helpful are yours? - take our free quiz today...👇👇👇

To recap the content from last week (and, if you’re new here today: Welcome! We suggest you scroll back and read the previous four posts) as we covered some really important topics.
✅ You’ve never been taught the skills you need for mental health – until now
✅ Your mental health is your responsibility and within your control: you CAN feel great
✅ Psychological foundations are essential: these are created by your thoughts and beliefs
✅ You can change your thoughts and beliefs, and it’s easier than you think

So, a question for you today:

Is life happening TO YOU, or are you HAPPENING TO LIFE? 💥

The emotions, stress and anxiety we experience are our REACTIONS TO life - they are not directly ‘caused’ by what happens in our lives.

👉 This is why some people get stressed and anxious very easily, and some don’t.
👉 This is why some people are terrified of dogs, and some people love them.
👉 This is why some people are anxious about needles, lifts, flying, spiders etc and some aren’t.

What makes us different is how we REACT to the different pressures and hurdles in life… and this comes down to our foundations, which comes down to our beliefs and day-to-day thinking.

For some people it really feels like ‘life happens to them’, for others, it feels like they ‘happen to life’. It all comes down to how you REACT to life, and how you react comes down to your beliefs.

The more powerful and helpful your beliefs, the less pressure you feel from life, the less life gets you down, the less life gets you stressed and anxious.
When you feel powerful and in control, you are able to bounce back from almost any situation.

It can be helpful to identify where you already feel calm, powerful and confident, and those areas where you need to adjust your thinking. The aim is to have a strong Sense of Power and Control over your Experiences (SPACE) in all areas of your life.

✴️ Fate, luck & chance
✴️ Religion and spirituality
✴️ Social influence (authority figures, parents, teachers, employers)
✴️ Thoughts, feelings and emotions
✴️ External factors: work, your health, the weather
✴️ The past: your thoughts and beliefs about your past including your childhood and past relationships.

Most people have areas of strength and weakness. For example, you might be a high-flier at the sports field and have a strong sense of SPACE in this domain, but be terrified by the prospect of a trip to the doctor. Or you could have had a terrible time at school and be clinging on to limiting beliefs about your career potential and feelings about whether you are (or are not) worthy of a promotion or a pay rise, but feel at peace with yourself as a lover or spouse.

Perhaps you can think of someone who has few limiting beliefs and so acts and behaves with strength and positivity in ALL domains. That person… could be you.

Our Sense of Power and Control can be subdivided into two different skill-sets:
1. Control: these are the skills you have to directly control, manage or avoid a situation.
2. Coping skills: as the name says, these are the skills you have to cope with difficult, challenging or stressful situations.

Everyone has these two skill-sets - as everyone has a Sense of Power and Control - to a greater or lesser extent.

Generally speaking, the lesser your coping skills, the more control you try to exert over life. For example, if you believe you couldn’t cope being in a room with a spider, you’ll do everything you can to avoid that spider. You can’t ‘cope’, so you ‘avoid’. Think of ANY phobia or anxiety at all, and you’ll see that they are all - in essence - the same: you believe you couldn’t cope, so you avoid.

What do you think happens to your skill-set when you learn to cope with something? You no longer feel as stressed or anxious in that situation, you don’t worry or brood about that situation, you no longer fear that situation… you feel powerful and able to cope.

People who feel powerful and confident about public speaking never worry about a speech or presentation they have to make, whilst people who have lots of social anxiety might agonise for weeks before such an event. Either the event is terrifying or it isn’t, right?

WRONG! It’s not the event (or situation) it’s how powerful you feel about it - what you believe about it - that matters.

Think about your own life: what situations do you try to control (or over-control?) manage, or avoid because you feel you couldn’t cope?

One of the main symptoms of this ‘desire for control’ (the absence of coping skills) is anxiety. We create anxiety by worrying and brooding about future events we don’t believe we’ll cope well with. There is also a huge amount of research linking depression to a ‘lack of control’ and feeling powerless.

Remember: you NEVER create stress or anxiety about situations you feel powerful and confident about. You Sense of Power and Control is all about your psychological foundations - the beliefs you hold about yourself and life. Basically, the more powerful and helpful your beliefs, the better your mental health.

So, just how powerful and helpful are YOUR beliefs? 💥

Over the last ten years we have created a number of helpful quizzes and tests so that you can measure a number of important variables in relation to your mental health, happiness and ability to thrive. Today, we are going to give you access to our free SPACE Quiz. This quiz will look at a significant number of important beliefs you hold about your life, and will report back to you how powerful you feel in those areas. If you take the quiz you will be emailed a full 6 page report that will not only give you an overall SPACE/Foundations score, but will also split the score into your Control and Coping skills, AND further identity in what areas your beliefs are most helpful.

Do you feel powerful about your past, or do you feel that your past still has some effect on your life now?
Are you superstitious? 86% of UK residents are highly superstitious - not realising that these beliefs are really powerless and unhelpful!
Do you believe that your mental health just ‘happens to you’ and there is not much you can do about it?
Does life happen to you, or do you happen to life?

Self-awareness is fundamental to increasing your SPACE and this quiz will really help you.

To access the quiz, simply reply/comment to this post with ‘Yes please’, and we’ll send you a direct message (through Facebook) with a link. (If for some reason you don’t see the message, check the ‘message request’ tab under ’settings’)

Are you ready to take back control AND learn to cope? 👇👇👇 ... See MoreSee Less

Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.

You’ve probably heard that before. It’s time to ‘think you can’ and ignore the little voices in your head that might have led you to believe that you couldn’t 🤫

Today we’re going to do some heavy-duty demolition on your limiting beliefs, so you can replace them with beliefs that make you feel calm, confident and capable 😊

In the 50s, the psychologist Julian Rotter introduced a concept called 'locus of control'. Locus of control is the degree to which you believe YOU have control over the events of your lives. People with great mental health usually believe that the events and experiences of their lives are controlled by their own thoughts, behaviours and actions.

By contrast, if you think thousands of unhelpful, limiting beliefs each day, and believe that the events and experiences of your life are controlled by external forces (e.g. authority figures, fate, luck and chance or events in your past) you will feel weak, powerless and overwhelmed. These thoughts and beliefs are the root cause of depression and anxiety and many psychological disorders.

As long as you believe your thinking (and mental health symptoms) are caused by something beyond your control - e.g. the date; your genetics; your personality; an event that happened in childhood, you will remain powerless to change.

To explain this further, imagine you believe that the weather makes you depressed. You wake up to find it’s grey and gloomy outside, so you feel down in the dumps and anticipate the day being a disaster. By contrast, if you have strong beliefs about your own ability to create positivity and success for yourself, you will ignore the miserable weather and get on with having a great day, regardless of the rainclouds.

Remember, BELIEFS ARE THOUGHTS YOU JUST KEEP THINKING. Just thoughts you keep thinking. There’s no such thing as a ‘deeply held belief’, or an ‘ingrained belief’ - a belief is just a belief… the moment you decide to change it, to stop thinking that way, you’ve already begun to change it… and within a FEW DAYS you’ll have an entirely new, helpful and powerful belief.

Swapping unhelpful, limiting beliefs for powerful, helpful ones is the way to build the essential foundations for positive mental health 🧠

You have thousands of beliefs that have been surfing your brainwaves, largely unchecked – until now. You probably picked these up from your parents, your school, friends, colleagues, media, the press, but that doesn’t mean that they’re valid, or even that they’re helpful to you. In fact many of the beliefs you’ve been thinking up to now are the reason you’ve been creating for yourself stress, anxiety and depression. This really isn’t your fault, and it’s not too late to change 💪

And this is why it’s so important to be aware of your beliefs. Once you know what you’ve been thinking and believing, you can check if these thoughts and beliefs are serving you or if they need to be changed, demolished or chucked in the proverbial bin to make room for something more positive and helpful. On Monday, we’re going to give you access to our purpose-built online quiz - so you’ll be able to see EXACTLY how many of your beliefs are powerful and helpful.

For now though, maybe it’s helpful to think of a belief as a balloon…🎈 Creating and maintaining a belief takes effort – it’s an active process - you don’t just think it once and ‘hey presto you have a belief’; you have to keep thinking it to keep the belief ‘alive’. Same as blowing up a balloon… it takes effort - you have to keep blowing and blowing to get it inflated. The bigger the balloon (or belief) - the more effort you have to keep putting in to inflate it and keep it inflated 🎈💨

Everyone remembers a birthday when they were a child… having balloons around the house? Trouble is, no matter how well you tie a knot in the balloon, they ALWAYS deflate after a few days. Same thing goes for beliefs… if you just left them alone for a few days, stopped thinking about them, stopped blowing air into them, they would eventually just shrivel up and disappear!

Balloons always deflate, beliefs always disappear - without active input from you.

The above is especially true if your belief flies in the face of evidence, or is contradicted regularly. Think how hard it must be for someone who has - for example - anorexia: everyone around them is telling them they’re not fat, and yet they believe that they are… think how many times a day they must be thinking ‘I am fat’ in order to contradict what everyone else is saying. Better still, think about the ‘flat-earthers’ - people who believe the earth is actually flat. Every day we see evidence that the earth is not flat, and that it is in fact a spinning sphere: 🌎 - gravity, pictures on the news, google earth, when you fly in an aeroplane etc… think how hard flat-earthers’ must be working to maintain their mistaken belief that it's flat!

To change any belief, just stop thinking the unhelpful thoughts and replace them with something more powerful and helpful. What do you WANT to believe? What sort of life do you want?

If you’ve been thinking ‘bad weather makes me miserable’: STOP ⛔️ Replace this immediately. Don't blow any more air into this balloon, and instead put effort (and yes, it will take effort) into generating a new belief instead. For example, ‘I can influence my own mood, regardless of the weather’, or, ‘I can have a great day even if the weather is sh*t'. The evidence to support this new belief is the fact that you do - very quickly - learn to have a great day despite the weather, so the new belief becomes your norm, and you feel more powerful 💪

As you can see, this is really quite simple. What new beliefs do you want to create?

What NEW beliefs are you going to create today? 🎈🎈🎈

P.S. Remember to look out for the link to our beliefs quiz on Monday...

#thrivingathome ... See MoreSee Less

Let’s do some armchair travel today…

Instead of being at home, we’re off to London to see the Shard.

This 310 metre-tall building is iconic. Rising above the London skyline, it is a feat of engineering and beauty. A trip to the top takes you high above the rooftops and into the clouds.

Of course, we only see the part of the Shard ABOVE the ground. Below, are deep, strong foundations. Without these, the building would not be able to stand proud; able to withstand adverse weather.

Consider YOUR mental health to be like a tall tower. Just as the Shard needs strong foundations to stand tall and strong; so does your mental health. When the storms blow – when ‘life happens’ – you need to be confident that your foundations are strong and deep.

For most people, it’s pretty easy to feel good when things are going well. If the sun shines, you enjoy your job, you get on with your partner, your children behave, you spend your time doing things you enjoy: it’s likely you’ll feel good. Foundations don’t matter so much when everything’s calm.

But when life ‘gets tough’; when you’re thrown a curveball or a challenge: that’s when you need to know that you are strong, robust, that you can cope with anything that life throws at you… that you can fall back on your foundations.

Your foundations – the ‘underground brickwork’ that your mental health/wellbeing is built upon, are just beliefs. That’s it: your foundations are just a series of beliefs you hold about life. You weren’t born with these beliefs, these are beliefs you have formed during your life to date, based on the experiences you have had, and the way you have viewed and processed them.

If all that seems a little Zen, think about it for a minute… think about a situation in life that you feel confident about. Go on, think about one. Got one? I’ll bet you rarely worry about this type of situation? You rarely feel anxious about this sort of experience? You probably don’t lose sleep over it, never get stressed about it, and only ever think about it in a powerful and positive way? Right?

Imagine you are used to public speaking, you are confident about it, and you have a presentation to do tomorrow… how do you think you would be feeling about it right now? You’d be feeling calm and relaxed, not worried, not anxious, not stressed. You’d be thinking – ‘yeah, I got this’.

Now imagine instead you are not used to public speaking, and you have a presentation to give tomorrow… you’d probably be stressed and anxious, maybe brooding about it, you probably won’t sleep tonight, you might even be dreading it.

Two entirely different experiences, ENTIRELY created by the beliefs you have around your skill-set about public speaking.

Powerful beliefs create powerful feelings. Truth is, you NEVER create anxiety about a situation you feel powerful and confident about. The more situations you feel powerful and confident about, the deeper your foundations, the less stressed, anxious, depressed etc you’ll be.

Think back to Mondays post about the OAPS and their pot-plants… just by taking control, putting in effort, and watching their plants grow, the OAPS felt more powerful. In essence, their beliefs started to change… they stopped thinking ‘what’s the point’ and started thinking ‘I can change things, life could be better’ – they felt more powerful.

We call this your Sense of Power and Control over your Experiences, or SPACE, for short. The more powerful, confident beliefs you hold about life, the stronger your sense of power and control, the more stable your mental health is.

And the whole thing is built on beliefs. Not facts, not reality, just beliefs.

What’s a belief? It’s just a thought you keep thinking. That’s all. Not something fixed or hard-wired, just a thought you keep thinking.

You have a choice: you can choose to develop strong psychological foundations.

Do you recognise any of the unhelpful beliefs below?

✴️ I have always felt like this so I always will
✴️ I’m not worth it
✴️ I can’t do it
✴️ I didn’t get that job so I am a useless person
✴️ I shouted at my children so I’m a bad parent
✴️ I always crumble under pressure
✴️ My mum has depression so it’s inevitable that I will too
✴️ I can’t do anything to change my perspective

Can you see how these beliefs come from a position of powerlessness?

Becoming aware of your thoughts and beliefs is the first step towards changing them.

Time to get out your notebook and spend some time noting some of YOUR limiting beliefs – try to find ten. What effect do you think these beliefs will be having on your life?

Why not share a couple in the comments below? If you’re thinking them, we know you’re not the only one.

Don’t worry – we know this is a lot to take in, and for many people change is scary or uncomfortable. If you want some encouragement, visit our YouTube channel to see videos of people JUST LIKE YOU who changed their lives using The Thrive Programme.

Coming up on Friday, we’ll be exploring some of your limiting beliefs so you can ‘get out of your own way’ and fast-track your journey to thriving.

#thrivingathome ... See MoreSee Less

Let’s do some armchair travel today…

Instead of being at home, we’re off to London to see the Shard.

This 310 metre-tall building is iconic. Rising above the London skyline, it is a feat of engineering and beauty. A trip to the top takes you high above the rooftops and into the clouds.

Of course, we only see the part of the Shard ABOVE the ground. Below, are deep, strong foundations. Without these, the building would not be able to stand proud; able to withstand adverse weather.

Consider YOUR mental health to be like a tall tower. Just as the Shard needs strong foundations to stand tall and strong; so does your mental health. When the storms blow – when ‘life happens’ – you need to be confident that your foundations are strong and deep.

For most people, it’s pretty easy to feel good when things are going well. If the sun shines, you enjoy your job, you get on with your partner, your children behave, you spend your time doing things you enjoy: it’s likely you’ll feel good. Foundations don’t matter so much when everything’s calm.

But when life ‘gets tough’; when you’re thrown a curveball or a challenge: that’s when you need to know that you are strong, robust, that you can cope with anything that life throws at you… that you can fall back on your foundations.

Your foundations – the ‘underground brickwork’ that your mental health/wellbeing is built upon, are just beliefs. That’s it: your foundations are just a series of beliefs you hold about life. You weren’t born with these beliefs, these are beliefs you have formed during your life to date, based on the experiences you have had, and the way you have viewed and processed them.

If all that seems a little Zen, think about it for a minute… think about a situation in life that you feel confident about. Go on, think about one. Got one? I’ll bet you rarely worry about this type of situation? You rarely feel anxious about this sort of experience? You probably don’t lose sleep over it, never get stressed about it, and only ever think about it in a powerful and positive way? Right?

Imagine you are used to public speaking, you are confident about it, and you have a presentation to do tomorrow… how do you think you would be feeling about it right now? You’d be feeling calm and relaxed, not worried, not anxious, not stressed. You’d be thinking – ‘yeah, I got this’.

Now imagine instead you are not used to public speaking, and you have a presentation to give tomorrow… you’d probably be stressed and anxious, maybe brooding about it, you probably won’t sleep tonight, you might even be dreading it.

Two entirely different experiences, ENTIRELY created by the beliefs you have around your skill-set about public speaking.

Powerful beliefs create powerful feelings. Truth is, you NEVER create anxiety about a situation you feel powerful and confident about. The more situations you feel powerful and confident about, the deeper your foundations, the less stressed, anxious, depressed etc you’ll be.

Think back to Mondays post about the OAPS and their pot-plants… just by taking control, putting in effort, and watching their plants grow, the OAPS felt more powerful. In essence, their beliefs started to change… they stopped thinking ‘what’s the point’ and started thinking ‘I can change things, life could be better’ – they felt more powerful.

We call this your Sense of Power and Control over your Experiences, or SPACE, for short. The more powerful, confident beliefs you hold about life, the stronger your sense of power and control, the more stable your mental health is.

And the whole thing is built on beliefs. Not facts, not reality, just beliefs.

What’s a belief? It’s just a thought you keep thinking. That’s all. Not something fixed or hard-wired, just a thought you keep thinking.

You have a choice: you can choose to develop strong psychological foundations.

Do you recognise any of the unhelpful beliefs below?

✴️ I have always felt like this so I always will
✴️ I’m not worth it
✴️ I can’t do it
✴️ I didn’t get that job so I am a useless person
✴️ I shouted at my children so I’m a bad parent
✴️ I always crumble under pressure
✴️ My mum has depression so it’s inevitable that I will too
✴️ I can’t do anything to change my perspective

Can you see how these beliefs come from a position of powerlessness?

Becoming aware of your thoughts and beliefs is the first step towards changing them.

Time to get out your notebook and spend some time noting some of YOUR limiting beliefs – try to find ten. What effect do you think these beliefs will be having on your life?

Why not share a couple in the comments below? If you’re thinking them, we know you’re not the only one.

Don’t worry – we know this is a lot to take in, and for many people change is scary or uncomfortable. If you want some encouragement, visit our YouTube channel to see videos of people JUST LIKE YOU who changed their lives using The Thrive Programme.

Coming up on Friday, we’ll be exploring some of your limiting beliefs so you can ‘get out of your own way’ and fast-track your journey to thriving.

#thrivingathome

A little over forty years ago, two psychologists ran an experiment in a nursing home. They wanted to see if they could reverse the effects of institutionalisation on the elderly residents i.e.feeling powerless, with no control over their lives, little hope and positivity. One group of OAPs were encouraged to take more responsibility for themselves - in order to increase their sense of power and control - and the second group were left to rely on staff taking care of them.

The experiment was very simple: both groups were given a pot plant. The ‘responsibility’ group were taught how to water and look after their plants, whereas the other group’s plants were looked after by the staff.

The results were profound!

The group that had spent time watering and caring for their plant felt and acted very differently to the other group… they were happier, more positive, took more exercise, joined in more activities in the home with the staff and generally experienced improvements to their general sense of wellbeing. The most striking thing was that - over the next eighteen months - 50% less of the responsibility-group had died.

When people think in a more powerful way, they feel more powerful, more in control. When people take part in activities that make them feel more powerful, they learn to think in a more powerful way.

On a very basic level, this is what your mental health is based upon - how powerful and in control you feel.

The more powerful and in control you feel, the better your thinking, beliefs and attitudes will be. You feel more in control of your emotions, more able to deal with the pressures and hurdles in life, you’re happier and more positive, and you put more effort into looking after yourself.

There are dozens and dozens of experiments like this one - all with very similar results...

What this experiment shows is - contrary to popular belief - you actually have a choice about your mental health. It’s not pre-determined; it’s not set in stone; it’s not written in the stars; it’s not dependent on things “going your way.”

Every day, YOU can make choices that make you think and feel better. You do not have to feel anxious or stressed.

This may be news to you.

Think for a moment of someone you know who is always buoyant and cheerful. Someone positive and resilient who makes the best of every situation, and bounces back from problems and adversity with apparent ease.

Contrast them to someone you know (this could even be you) who feels quite anxious, stressed or prone to bouts of low mood.

The difference is not what happens ‘to' you. The difference is how you respond to things. If you respond to what life throws at you in a powerless way, you WILL feel overwhelmed, and your mental health will suffer.

If you respond with helpful, powerful thoughts, you will feel calm and optimistic. The Thrive Programme is about taking responsibility to learn the skills that make this easy and automatic for you, and accepting that you have a choice over how you think and feel. You've probably never been told this before, and just let your thinking go unchecked; mistakenly believing that you've always been like this and it can't be changed. In fact you CAN change - once you take responsibility to do so. The choice is yours, and now is the time. Whether you're seven or seventy (or a hundred and seven) now is a great time to invest time and energy in learning to thrive.

A plant or animal is said to be thriving when it is growing, developing and being as successful as it can be within its environment. We have seen thousands of people choose to learn to thrive. They have taken responsibility for their thoughts and feelings, and taken the time to develop self-awareness and the necessary skills. It takes practice, for sure, but it’s not difficult.

Children can learn these skills just as easily as adults and OAP’s in nursing homes...

When we hear the phrase ‘mental health’, it can bring to mind ‘mental illness’: But, mental health is a spectrum. Poor mental health leads to depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, a strong desire for control and so on. Mental WELLNESS, on the other hand, encompasses positivity, resilience, optimism and a sense of calm, even in times of change.

How are you feeling today? How do you rate your mental health? Are you prone to bouts of sadness or moments of panic? Do you wake up feeling stressed, already worried about what the day might bring? Is your mood unpredictable and prone to changing at the drop of a hat, in response to something happening? Or, do you feel calm and stable? Do you wake up feeling calm and positive, unfazed by the ups and downs of life?

It’s helpful to imagine a spectrum: -5 at one end, all the way to +10. Take a moment to consider how you are feeling. Minus 5 is down and depressed; 0 is ‘Ok’ and +10 is where we all want to be: optimistic with unshakeable confidence that you’re living your best life and have the skills and resources to manage anything and everything. Where would you place yourself on this spectrum?

If you’re feeling bold, why not share your number in the comments below?

We don’t just want people to overcome mental health issues (move from say a -3 to a + 4) - we want everybody to learn how to thrive (+9 or 10).

On Wednesday, we’ll set to work on building the strong psychological foundations you’re going to need as you stop letting life just ‘happen to you’ and instead start ‘happening to life’. Until then, spend some time paying attention to your thoughts… are they positive, powerful and calming?

PS Congratulations! The simple fact you’ve read this post shows you’re already taking responsibility and have made the choice to improve your mental health.

That’s great news!

#thrivingathome ... See MoreSee Less

A little over forty years ago, two psychologists ran an experiment in a nursing home. They wanted to see if they could reverse the effects of institutionalisation on the elderly residents i.e.feeling powerless, with no control over their lives, little hope and positivity. One group of OAPs were encouraged to take more responsibility for themselves - in order to increase their sense of power and control - and the second group were left to rely on staff taking care of them.  
 

The experiment was very simple: both groups were given a pot plant. The ‘responsibility’ group were taught how to water and look after their plants, whereas the other group’s plants were looked after by the staff. 
 

The results were profound!  

The group that had spent time watering and caring for their plant felt and acted very differently to the other group… they were happier, more positive, took more exercise, joined in more activities in the home with the staff and generally experienced improvements to their general sense of wellbeing. The most striking thing was that - over the next eighteen months - 50% less of the responsibility-group had died. 

 
When people think in a more powerful way, they feel more powerful, more in control. When people take part in activities that make them feel more powerful, they learn to think in a more powerful way. 

 
On a very basic level, this is what your mental health is based upon - how powerful and in control you feel.  
 

The more powerful and in control you feel, the better your thinking, beliefs and attitudes will be. You feel more in control of your emotions, more able to deal with the pressures and hurdles in life, you’re happier and more positive, and you put more effort into looking after yourself. 

There are dozens and dozens of experiments like this one - all with very similar results... 

 
What this experiment shows is - contrary to popular belief - you actually have a choice about your mental health. It’s not pre-determined; it’s not set in stone; it’s not written in the stars; it’s not dependent on things “going your way.”  
 

Every day, YOU can make choices that make you think and feel better. You do not have to feel anxious or stressed.  
 

This may be news to you. 
 

Think for a moment of someone you know who is always buoyant and cheerful. Someone positive and resilient who makes the best of every situation, and bounces back from problems and adversity with apparent ease.  
 

Contrast them to someone you know (this could even be you) who feels quite anxious, stressed or prone to bouts of low mood. 

The difference is not what happens ‘to you. The difference is how you respond to things. If you respond to what life throws at you in a powerless way, you WILL feel overwhelmed, and your mental health will suffer.   
 

If you respond with helpful, powerful thoughts, you will feel calm and optimistic. The Thrive Programme is about taking responsibility to learn the skills that make this easy and automatic for you, and accepting that you have a choice over how you think and feel. Youve probably never been told this before, and just let your thinking go unchecked; mistakenly believing that youve always been like this and it cant be changed.  In fact you CAN change - once you take responsibility to do so. The choice is yours, and now is the time. Whether youre seven or seventy (or a hundred and seven) now is a great time to invest time and energy in learning to thrive.  

A plant or animal is said to be thriving when it is growing, developing and being as successful as it can be within its environment. We have seen thousands of people choose to learn to thrive. They have taken responsibility for their thoughts and feelings, and taken the time to develop self-awareness and the necessary skills. It takes practice, for sure, but it’s not difficult.  
 

Children can learn these skills just as easily as adults and OAP’s in nursing homes... 

When we hear the phrase ‘mental health’, it can bring to mind ‘mental illness’: But, mental health is a spectrum. Poor mental health leads to depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, a strong desire for control and so on. Mental WELLNESS, on the other hand, encompasses positivity, resilience, optimism and a sense of calm, even in times of change.   

How are you feeling today? How do you rate your mental health? Are you prone to bouts of sadness or moments of panic? Do you wake up feeling stressed, already worried about what the day might bring? Is your mood unpredictable and prone to changing at the drop of a hat, in response to something happening? Or, do you feel calm and stable? Do you wake up feeling calm and positive, unfazed by the ups and downs of life? 

 
It’s helpful to imagine a spectrum: -5 at one end, all the way to +10. Take a moment to consider how you are feeling. Minus 5 is down and depressed; 0 is ‘Ok’ and +10 is where we all want to be: optimistic with unshakeable confidence that you’re living your best life and have the skills and resources to manage anything and everything. Where would you place yourself on this spectrum? 
 

If you’re feeling bold, why not share your number in the comments below?  
 

We don’t just want people to overcome mental health issues (move from say a -3 to a + 4) - we want everybody to learn how to thrive (+9 or 10). 
 

On Wednesday, we’ll set to work on building the strong psychological foundations you’re going to need as you stop letting life just ‘happen to you’ and instead start ‘happening to life’. Until then, spend some time paying attention to your thoughts… are they positive, powerful and calming? 
 

PS Congratulations! The simple fact you’ve read this post shows you’re already taking responsibility and have made the choice to improve your mental health.  
 

That’s great news! 
 

#thrivingathome

Comment on Facebook

Hi this is a very helpful page glad I came across this. Would it be ok to message you.
The story of the care home is similar to the siege of lenningrad in world war two. Some of the population decided to try to carry on during the seige which included going to the library reading books learning and generally carried on with life while others just gave up interestingly enough the ones that carried on survived the siege

We’re so pleased you’re here.

…Time to make yourself a drink and find somewhere comfortable to read this.

☕️🏠

…Time to sit back and relax.

Hello, and welcome to The Thrive Programme: mental health - made simple.

We’re here to help you feel better during these strange and challenging times by sharing some of the content from our programme at no cost to you.

ALL of us are facing new challenges at the moment and mental health matters more than ever. Most people don't have a clue where to start: if you're reading this, you're ahead of the crowd!

Here on our Facebook page you have the chance to learn skills and self-awareness to enable you to get control of your emotions.

Over the next few posts, you can look forward to learning ways to feel relaxed even when the world is stressful. We’ll show you how to use your thoughts to help you feel positive and powerful and we’ll teach you the new skills which you need to feel in control.

Today we'll explain a little more about the programme and how it can help you. Read on to find out what you need to do so that we can help you through the days in lockdown and beyond. It can help you even if your anxiety is sky-high; you're frozen in panic or your bank balance has plunged you into depression.

BEFORE WE GO ANY FURTHER
If you’ve been feeling panicky, anxious and concerned by the way coronavirus is changing our world, please be assured that you’re not alone.

If you’re finding things hard to manage - it’s not your fault. Even though coronavirus IS causing fear and confusion, you can take action TODAY to start thinking and feeling differently – that is, to start thinking and feeling better.

You don’t have to feel stressed and miserable: you can feel calm and positive – once you know how. We’ll teach you in short, easy-to-understand lessons.

The truth is, most people don’t understand mental health. They think it’s complicated. They believe the myths and mysteries that suggest some people will always be stuck with depression or anxiety because of some uncontrollable factor like genetics or brain chemistry. These myths are untrue and mental health is in fact relatively simple to understand and can easily be improved.

Think back to your school days for a moment. You probably remember maths and English; science and history; sport and music. Maybe even a few mentions of good manners and good character. But I’m sure you don’t recall any lessons about mental health. That’s because they didn’t exist. NONE OF US WERE EVER TAUGHT TO UNDERSTAND OUR MENTAL HEALTH. So, it’s no surprise people are feeling increasingly anxious, panicky and depressed at the moment – you may even believe that this is inevitable and you have no choice but to feel worried and blue. The good news is, with our help you can learn how to think and feel better – and it’s much less complicated than you might imagine.

ABOUT THE THRIVE PROGRAMME

For over twelve years, The Thrive Programme has helped tens of thousands of people just like you. It’s a step-by-step programme that has enabled people to recover from years of depression; to overcome a lifetime of anxiety; to bring an end to crippling eating disorders and to transform people from timid wallflowers to the ‘life and soul of the party’. People often arrive at our clinics with a certain problem or set of symptoms but no idea just how much they can change their lives. They are blown away when they realise how much they can change their life - in life in just a few weeks.

Remember, with the help of The Thrive Programme, YOU can learn to feel calm yet powerful; YOU can master the skills to help you cope with change and the unexpected - and YOU can be ready to live your best life (which will be even easier when coronavirus no longer confines us to our homes).

OUR PROMISE TO YOU

Our posts will always be easy to read and understand; empowering and evidence-based. No jargon; no complicated science. And, we aren’t going to mention the C word at all! There will be simple explanations and practical activities to help you learn how to thrive.

READY?
Our programme changes lives. It can change your life - but it's a 'doing' thing.

Four things to do today so you’re ready to get the most from our posts.
1. Trust the process: you may be feeling sceptical or doubtful: that’s normal! Join us, put the effort in and the results will come.
2. Get prepared: you need a notebook and a few minutes each day to focus on learning to thrive.
3. Reach out: feel free to DM us on Facebook or contact a licensed Thrive Consultant with any questions. (We all provide sessions over Skype & Zoom, so it doesn’t matter where in the world you are.)
4. Don’t keep this to yourself: tell your friends and families that they, too, can benefit from the this programme with you by sharing this post with them NOW. This is for everyone.

Tomorrow, we’ll share the most important thing you need to know so you can begin to improve your mental health.

We're already looking forward to going on this journey with you. Thanks for joining us - we're so pleased you're here.

PS People need to focus on mental health more than ever – nobody knows what the next few months have in store for us. We want to help as many people as possible.

Please share this post with your friends and family.

#thrivingathome ... See MoreSee Less

We’re so pleased you’re here. 
 
…Time to make yourself a drink and find somewhere comfortable to read this.
 
☕️🏠
 
…Time to sit back and relax.
 
Hello, and welcome to The Thrive Programme: mental health - made simple. 
 
We’re here to help you feel better during these strange and challenging times by sharing some of the content from our programme at no cost to you.

ALL of us are facing new challenges at the moment and mental health matters more than ever. Most people dont have a clue where to start: if youre reading this, youre ahead of the crowd! 
 
Here on our Facebook page you have the chance to learn skills and self-awareness to enable you to get control of your emotions.

Over the next few posts, you can look forward to learning ways to feel relaxed even when the world is stressful. We’ll show you how to use your thoughts to help you feel positive and powerful and we’ll teach you the new skills which you need to feel in control. 
 
Today well explain a little more about the programme and how it can help you. Read on to find out what you need to do so that we can help you through the days in lockdown and beyond.  It can help you even if your anxiety is sky-high; youre frozen in panic or your bank balance has plunged you into depression.
 
 
BEFORE WE GO ANY FURTHER
If you’ve been feeling panicky, anxious and concerned by the way coronavirus is changing our world, please be assured that you’re not alone. 
 
If you’re finding things hard to manage - it’s not your fault. Even though coronavirus IS causing fear and confusion, you can take action TODAY to start thinking and feeling differently – that is, to start thinking and feeling better. 
 
You don’t have to feel stressed and miserable: you can feel calm and positive – once you know how. We’ll teach you in short, easy-to-understand lessons.
 
The truth is, most people don’t understand mental health. They think it’s complicated. They believe the myths and mysteries that suggest some people will always be stuck with depression or anxiety because of some uncontrollable factor like genetics or brain chemistry. These myths are untrue and mental health is in fact relatively simple to understand and can easily be improved. 

Think back to your school days for a moment. You probably remember maths and English; science and history; sport and music. Maybe even a few mentions of good manners and good character. But I’m sure you don’t recall any lessons about mental health. That’s because they didn’t exist. NONE OF US WERE EVER TAUGHT TO UNDERSTAND OUR MENTAL HEALTH. So, it’s no surprise people are feeling increasingly anxious, panicky and depressed at the moment – you may even believe that this is inevitable and you have no choice but to feel worried and blue. The good news is, with our help you can learn how to think and feel better – and it’s much less complicated than you might imagine.
 
ABOUT THE THRIVE PROGRAMME
 
For over twelve years, The Thrive Programme has helped tens of thousands of people just like you. It’s a step-by-step programme that has enabled people to recover from years of depression; to overcome a lifetime of anxiety; to bring an end to crippling eating disorders and to transform people from timid wallflowers to the ‘life and soul of the party’. People often arrive at our clinics with a certain problem or set of symptoms but no idea just how much they can change their lives. They are blown away when they realise how much they can change their life - in life in just a few weeks.

Remember, with the help of The Thrive Programme, YOU can learn to feel calm yet powerful; YOU can master the skills to help you cope with change and the unexpected - and YOU can be ready to live your best life (which will be even easier when coronavirus no longer confines us to our homes).

OUR PROMISE TO YOU
 
Our posts will always be easy to read and understand; empowering and evidence-based. No jargon; no complicated science.  And, we aren’t going to mention the C word at all! There will be simple explanations and practical activities to help you learn how to thrive. 
 
 
READY? 
Our programme changes lives. It can change your life - but its a doing thing.
 
Four things to do today so you’re ready to get the most from our posts.
1. Trust the process: you may be feeling sceptical or doubtful: that’s normal! Join us, put the effort in and the results will come.
2. Get prepared: you need a notebook and a few minutes each day to focus on learning to thrive. 
3. Reach out: feel free to DM us on Facebook or contact a licensed Thrive Consultant with any questions. (We all provide sessions over Skype & Zoom, so it doesn’t matter where in the world you are.)
4. Don’t keep this to yourself: tell your friends and families that they, too, can benefit from the this programme with you by sharing this post with them NOW. This is for everyone.
 
Tomorrow, we’ll share the most important thing you need to know so you can begin to improve your mental health. 
 
Were already looking forward to going on this journey with you. Thanks for joining us - were so pleased youre here.
 
 
PS  People need to focus on mental health more than ever – nobody knows what the next few months have in store for us. We want to help as many people as possible. 
 
Please share this post with your friends and family.

#thrivingathome

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About Diane Muller
Diane Muller Dip.Hyp (Accr) MIAEBP (Adv.)

Hypnosis & Hypnotherapy
About Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy

Suggestion Therapy
Ideally suited for smoking cessation, pre-test nerves, relaxation, slimming etc.

Challenge Limiting Beliefs with Diane Muller
Learn how to completely change the way you think and feel about yourself when faced with challenging situations.

Cognitive Processing and Integration
This type of therapy is used to help discover and remove the cause of a symptom.

Hypnosis for Children
Help with school phobia, anxiety, bed wetting and irrational fears in children/kids.

Symptoms & Problems
Symptoms and problems treated with hypnotherapy

Self Improvement
Hypnotherapy can help with all kinds of self-improvement

Stop Smoking in 1 Hour
Stop smoking easily with hypnosis and hypnotherapy

Non-Surgical Gastric Band
The sub-conscious mind actually believes the stomach feels smaller

Forensic Hypnosis
'Forensic and Investigative Hypnosis' is a group of techniques to enhance the memory-recall of the victims and witnesses of crime and trauma.

Hypnosis Links
Useful and recommended links